For those who may not know, I am in Paris for the month of July. It is a working vacation–Jay has math workshops, I have a linguistics conference, and we have about two weeks inbetween these things. We are hooked up in a nice apartment in the 2nd, after a pretty harrowing experience of being scammed. That story to come. Being back in France allows me to reflect on the 3 months Jay and I spent here in the summer of 2006, and in fact, all the times I’ve come to Paris since the first time in 1990. Man, I’ve been coming to France on and off for 18 years. Crazy.
France and I have a history. So perhaps it’s not surprising that I have a love-hate relationship with the French. Many people feel this way about the French. Rather than listing the things that both irk and endear me to these wonderful people, I’ve decided that the aspects of my love-hate relationship should get a series. In the first of the LHRF series, I will discuss my love-hate relationship with French Humor.
The French have an unusually wry sense of humor. I am a fan of wry humor. Except when it gets used on me. And the French like to do this. One instance that I was subjected to more than a few times last time I was here was something like the following, usually at a restaurant:
Me: Do you have a toilet?/Are there toilets?
Waiter: No, I’m sorry.
Me: Oh.
Waiter: No, I’m just joking. They’re over on the left.
So yesterday we walk by a fromagerie, and in the display case on the street are plates of cheese; The plates are advertised for 6 euros each, and there are about 4 different cheeses on each plate. They were brie-looking cheeses, but I couldn’t tell what kinds they were. 6 euros seemed like a decent price to pay for 4 different kinds of cheeses, so I thought I’d ask what they were. And I get this:
Me to the cheesemonger: What is on the plates?
Cheesemonger: Cheese.
Is this really necessary? To a stranger no less? Do they get their kicks out of the person’s reaction? Yes, catching someone off their guard is funny, I’ll admit. But in everyday transactions like finding the bathroom? Are French just unmercifully cruel on people who can’t identify cheese by sight or don’t make the assumption that a restaurant has a public toilet?
You know what happens when you make a supposition. You make a supp out of os and ition. Like myself, perhaps the French need a snark stripper.
But as I am also a linguist, I have to wonder: is this interaction only a result of humor at play, or is there something subtly linguistic I’m missing here. Is there something about the questions est-ce qu’il y a des toilettes or qu’est-ce qu’il y a sur le plateau that warrants that kind of response?
Comments, especially from native speakers, will be carefully considered, and earn you a coupon good for “one less frog joke” redeemable when I have been hitting the Bordeaux a little hard.
6 responses so far ↓
1 alejna // Jul 10, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I have no insight to offer. But I’ll be interested to see what native speakers have to say, too.
But I can say that I enjoyed see the word cheesemonger.
And my burning question: did you get some of the cheese? (mmmm, cheese.)
2 bshep // Jul 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The est-ce que construction is way more complex than the standard “ou sont les toilettes” probably found in most guidebooks– maybe they just weren’t used to hearing it and couldn’t resist?
I am certain I am guilty of both types of sarcasm in my native language, perhaps of multiple offenses. Although sometimes it’s because I’m having one of my slow days and I’m too dumb to process the question in any way other than literally, and then after the fact I pretend like I was being a smartass.
3 Li // Jul 20, 2008 at 9:56 am
Yeah it definitely has to do with the fact you asked “DO you have a toilet” and “What is this” instead of “WHERE are the toilets” and “What KIND of cheese is this.” I have definitely gotten the same reaction as you and it seems they were picking on me for asking the obvious. Or they just enjoy being assholes. I mean come on, they know exactly what you’re trying to ask. Like I was in Germany right. I was in Cologne, at the train station to go to Bonne. To make sure I was on the right platform I asked a station worker whether this was the line to Bonne. He looks at me without blinking and says Yes, you are at the bahn (train station). I was like YOU $*%&$*&(*.
Have fun in Paris anyway. I’m jealous. We need to finally get together when you get back!
4 Christiana D // Jul 30, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Well, as afrench girl who moved to the states at 13 years old i will definitely have to agree with Li, It is the way you phrased the question that caused the waiter to have such a response. See ,we encourage foreigners to speak french so that we may correct them but sometimes you will run into a person who will not correct you but just be sarcastic. I am always at odds with myself in the states, its a war between the cultural norms of my family and those that i have learned to adapt to in the us, they are so different from each other that i am consently wondering who I have offended at the end of the day.
5 Alexandre // Aug 2, 2008 at 1:32 pm
The construction itself helped you get part of the in-group treatment, in this case.
As you might know, Parisians have a love-hate relationship with themselves. And other French-speakers have a hate-love-hate relationship with Parisians. So you’re behaving like an insider.
The wry humour you describe is common in different parts of Francophonie. In Quebec, we call it «baveux». And I personally love it, even though it’s often directed at me (and people get big laughs because I still react to it).
«Baveux» humour is very rarely used with outsiders, in Quebec. Even fellow French-speaking Canadians who have lived in Quebec for about ten years may be oblivious to some of the subtleties of «baveux» humour. Of course, other French-speaking groups have their own versions. But they “don’t translate” across regional varieties.
Seems to me, Parisians are probably the most likely people to use their own brand of wry humour with outsiders. But, as far as I can tell, they use it much more with people they know. So the fact that they use it with you shows a level of comfort.
Now, as others have said, you could have avoided these situations by using the most direct question. But what’s the fun in that? My “gripe with Grice” (bandname!) is that his maxims aren’t in fact applied universally in the same way. Among French-speakers, we like to twist verbal utterances to make them violate Gricean maxims. Not because we think these violations are improper, but because it’s part of the fun we have with language.
I understand why you associate snarky and wry humour with meanness, cruelty, and other breaches of social relationships based on Goffman-style facework. But the intentionality could lead you somewhere else. Don’t forget our love affair with with: the target is language itself.
In other words: “don’t take it personal.”
6 Alexandre // Aug 2, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Oops!
I meant “our love affair with wit.”
Came back after taking a look at the snark-stripper. And got to think about my own reactions to Anglosnark: I don’t like it too much. It’s as common as «baveux» humour in Quebec and paltoquet-like ridicule in France. But it does rub me the wrong way. So I guess I know how you felt.
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